July 5th 2015

Weekend brunch with friends

 

My last Starbucks latte! 

Saying bye to bad customer service and burnt coffee!

Window shopping with Jig

Only thing in that Cartier bag is a catalog

4th of July with the parents

This was a short work week but did it ever pack a punch! The next few weeks are going to be really crazy busy, so I am trying to soak up as much of my time off during this holiday weekend as I can. I am dreading the next month like a college student dreading finals week. Here's hoping I make it through relatively unscathed.

I also decided I am starting the 12 week Bikini Body Guide on Monday, so wanted to sneak in a few last greasy meals before I give them up for at least the next 12 weeks. Don't worry pizza and country potatoes, I will figure out a way to incorporate you back into my life. For now, I need a break. It's not me, it you. You are so good but so bad and I just to need to let go of our unhealthy cycle of indulgence and guilt. 

I had a lot of downtime this long weekend to think and plan and figure out some stuff that was gnawing at the back of my mind. I want to change some things in my life and I have accepted that those changes have to be gradual and I know they are fully in my control. So, the next few months are going to be about that; about gradual, deliberate change that I can look back at and feel like I accomplished something. The fitness program is definitely one aspect of that change, but there's more than just that. I think it's time for a mind-body-soul reset of things. 

Pivoting Moments

June 27th, 2015

This week I keep thinking about pivoting moments. Those moments after which the narrative of your life changes. Some of these we can expect and prepare for like weddings and babies and college. Some just grab you by surprise like promotions and death and accidents. Then there are the tiny pivots where you don't even realize you're changing direction until you look back and see where you were. This weekend we got to witness a pivoting moment in the life of a good friend when she got married. It's an odd tug to see someone whom you have known for a long time become part of a couple. It's a moment of happiness filled with the feeling of knowing things are about to change. It's the same feeling you have at graduation. It's a happy moment with an undercurrent of this-is-it, it-won't-ever-be-the-same-again. 

The wedding weekend was great. Deepi, Jig, and I kicked it off on Friday with a day of mani-pedis and hanging out at Jig's house. It took me back to two or three years ago when doing that was just an ordinary Friday or Saturday night. Somewhere in the last few years, our lives pivoted away from each other; some for geographical reasons and some due to just gradual other things taking over. But still, it was a good day to talk and feel like we were 22. The day of the wedding was a flurry of getting ready and talking photos. Then the ceremony began and it was a beautiful time. During the gap between wedding and cocktails, we went back to Jig's to chill out from the heat and watch Disney movies. Then off we went to a reception filled with more pictures, food, and dancing. I am pretty sure I am a sucker for weddings; what a great way to acknowledge and celebrate a pivoting moment in your life in the presence of everyone you love and those who love you back. 

The Big Things

I spent a few hours yesterday reading my diary from high school and I realized how much I missed journaling. So, I decided to restart this thing again because ten years from now, it will make for a very entertaining Saturday afternoon read filled with lots of "what the hell was I thinking?!"moments. I guess let's restart the easiest way, which is to recap the big things that have happened this year.

Eluru, India, Jan 2015

The first day of 2015 I was on a plane headed to India to meet up with my parents and reconnect with the rest of my family. The trip was fairly uneventful but it was good quality time with the grandparents. The downside of living in California is that I barely get to see my grandparents and the older they get, the more I feel the pang of not being there with them. So though the trip itself was unremarkable in terms of activities, I am glad I was able to spend time with my favorite oldies. January blended into February and soon enough I was turning 28.

Feb 2015

I remember waking up on my birthday and rushing off to work because it was a Monday and it was busy season at work. I also remember waking up with throbbing tooth and gum pain. So, off I went for an emergency dentist visit where I found out nothing was wrong except that I was finally getting my wisdom teeth. Apparently the universe decided I was ready for them at the prime age of 28. Thankfully, the visit was short and I came back to the office to find a surprise birthday bouquet waiting for me. I left work promptly at 5 PM to take a Caltrain ride to Palo Alto and so began the best part about my day. I had a lovely dinner with Subs at Indo followed by scrumptious dessert at CREAM. Then I came home to my parents' place for our annual candle blowout and birthday cake celebration. In retrospect it was a perfectly ordinary birthday, but I loved every minute of it because I got to spend it with the people I loved.

Mendocino, Apr 2015

I would say the amount of time I spend outdoors has increased exponentially this year. Most of my Sundays are spent outdoors hiking and just enjoying California in general. Some of my favorite places so far have been Mendocino, Santa Cruz Wilder Ranch preserve, and Davenport beach. Some of these places I visited with my parents, but most of them have been with my partner-in-crime.

Subs and I, Spring 2015

That brings me to the biggest update in my life - my love life. This person who in a not-too-distant past was a complete stranger to me became the most important person in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. I spend most of my day talking to him in some way and most our weekends together. He's met my friends and I have met his and we have become each other's best friends. In spring of this year, our families met and that meeting somehow cemented the reality of our future together. I have always been a romantic but I think that side of me has also taken over my personality in the past few months. The stupid love songs make more sense now and yes, I am more open with him than anyone else in my life. Beyonce got it right again; the walls do come tumbling down without a fight with the right person.

So, how is my life? In a nutshell, really good. Yeah, I need to lose a few pounds and I have some very stressful workdays and I worry about my grandparents' health and I hate driving in the Bay Area more and more everyday. Those clouds keep me up at night a lot of times. But then, I remember what I have and I get happy and incredibly grateful. I am happy to be with someone I love and can see a wonderful future with. I am thankful I have a job that challenges me and surrounds me with some incredible people. I am content with my family and the unyielding and unconditional support they provide. I am excited about my friendships and my friends who make me smile and laugh like a maniac. So, I guess that's the big update from me. At twenty-eight, I am happy with the life, grateful for the people in it, and excited to keep taking it one day at a time.

Twenty Fourteen

Dear 2014,

You are going to be a hard year to beat! You didn't go according to plan at all, but boy did you deliver some amazing memories. Years from now, what I will remember about this year are the travels and the surprises. I got to stretch my legs and go to some incredible places and see some amazing sights. From the awesome beach sunsets of California to the rolling green hills of Scotland, I got really lucky in my travels this year. One of my fondest memories will be stopping for brunch at a little coffee house in the countryside of Scotland by Balmoral. The beauty of the surroundings, the niceness of the people - it really made me realize what a wonderful we live in (yes, I stole that line from Mr. Armstrong).  My career took a step forward and that step came with a lot more work than ever before. There were definitely days and weeks where I had bags the size of Manhattan under my eyes and my shoulders were locked in a hunched position over my laptop. Still, I kept slugging through the work. I went through a disappointing few weeks when I realized my plans for going to graduate school abroad are not going to happen this year. My friends and family got me through that. My friends still held me up through thick and thin like they have always done. My personal life surprised me. I reconnected with people from the past and I met someone new who became a big part of my life. I let go of some friendships, made some new ones, and I met my new best friend. 

All in all, somethings didn't change at all this year and somethings did a complete 180. It's been an incredible year. I can honestly say that I am much happier on December 31st, 2014 than I was on January 1st, 2014. The biggest lesson I learned this year? Let go of your plans and let life surprise you once in a while. 

Goodbye, 2014! I am sad to see you go, but I am excited for 2015 to come in.

Lots of love,

M.K.

March: San Diego, California

May: Seattle, Washingtom

July: Lake Tahoe, California

August: Santa Cruz, California

September: London, UK

September: Edinburgh, Scotland

September: Balmoral, Scotland  

September: Cliffs of Moher, Ireland

October: Kauai, Hawaii

Home: San Francisco, California

Hello, I love you

Dress: Free People; Bracelet: J. Crew; Necklace: F21

Well, hello again. I don't even have any excuses for being a quiet mouse the last few weeks. Let's see - lots of storms kept me away. Work, travel, personal tasks, weather made for some very busy weeks. The crazy weather also meant I dressed pretty much in a uniform of rainboots, leggings, sweatshirts and scarves. Any free time I had was spent snuggling underneath blankets, watching movies, and just hibernating. Now that the rain has died down now and work is swiveling to an end, I am peaking out of my cave and embracing the holiday season.

I love this time of the year. Yes, it's commercialized and malls are crazy and people tend to behave like idiots on the road with all the crazy traffic. Yes, those part suck for me too but, that is such a tiny part of the holidays. I love seeing the city lit up. I love seeing people get dressed up for holiday parties and ditch the Bay Area uniform of shorts and tees. I love the baking and decorating the house in bright and glittering lights. Most of all - I love spending time with my people. This time of the year just feels like the perfect moment to tell all your people how much you love them and how thankful you are to have them in your life. I am looking forward to a week of holiday lunches, shopping with mom, watching movies with dad, dinners with my favorite dude, and wine nights with my best girls. Food + drinks + amazing people = perfect holiday season. 

Things my dad taught me

I am uncool enough to admit that my dad is one of my best friends. He is my life coach, my go to problem solver, my career counselor, and my general compass. Throughout my life, he has taught me so many things that have since shaped into who I am now. Here some of the most important things I learned from my pop:

1) Family comes first: my dad gave up a lucrative career in order to move countries for my mom. He did it for her happiness and for the well being of our family even though it meant giving up something he worked hard for and starting over new. Jobs will come and go; careers will take lots of changes. Family should always take priority.

2) Be positive: we aren't a very religious household, but there was one book that I was required to read and it was Peale's Power of Positive Thinking. One of my dad's favorite dad-isms is "be positive, please!" There was no spiraling into woe-be-me attitude with him. He was tolerant about a lot of things but one thing he never had any patience for is negative-nancies. My Pollyanna-esque tendencies definitely come from that. Even when life kicks you in the stomach, my dad taught me to figure out to how take the hit and come out of it smiling.

3) Money shouldn't make decisions:  I never heard him say, "we can't afford that", for any request. He taught me the value of hard work but he also taught me that wealth shouldn't make the big decisions in life. Go to the college you want to go to, study the subjects you are passionate about, and love the people you want to love. Money can be earned and figured out, so that should never be the reason to do or not do something. I was also lucky enough to have parents who could provide in a fashion that made it so that money wasn't an issue. For that, I am forever thankful.

4) Be ambitious: as a woman who is well aware of the glass ceiling in the workplaces and is from a culture that discourages ambition in the female gender, this one was a big one for me. While I had distant family whose dads saw their daughters as just someone to marry off, I was fortunate enough to have a dad who never saw my gender as a disadvantage. My dad always told me that in whatever field I chose, I should be able to confidently say I am in the top 25% of my cohort. It meant if I am a teacher, I would be one of the best teachers at that school. He instilled in me an ambition and a passion to work hard in order to become the creme de la creme. Good or bad - this has become the reason I go the extra mile, why I wake up early and work late. I want to work hard for my dreams and I know my dad will always be there cheering on my every accomplishment and supporting me in every failure.

5) Brush your teeth: my dad only yelled at me once in my childhood and that was when for some reason, I decided dental hygiene was not for me. I think I was five or six at the time and HATED the idea of brushing my teeth. I would put the brush in my mouth, make a face, and then throw a tantrum about not wanting to do it. This went on for two days before he lost it and I got a good talking to. Since I had never seen him angry in my entire little life, this definitely made an impression. To this day, I can't go to sleep without brushing my teeth because I think my dad will somehow know and I would be punished. Even if he's a continent away, I make sure I brush my teeth twice a day for him.

Happy Fathers Day to all the wonderful dads and dad figures out there. 

Milestones

What better time than your birthday to ramble on about what life lessons you learned so far. As I enter my late twenties officially, here's 20 things I learned about life of a twenty-something-old living in San Francisco:

1) Finding a career that you love is rare, so cherish it if you have it. I love my work. That doesn't mean work becomes play; it just means work becomes meaningful.

2) Most of your friends are still figuring out what they want to do in life and that's OK. Be supportive and listen to them when they want to talk about their shitty days or when they tell you they want to quit and become a princess at Disneyland.

3) Go to lunch and happy hours with your co-workers. You are going to spend more than half your waking hours with these people, so why not get to know them and become friends.

4) It's OK to be ambitious even if you are a girl. Planning for a career and getting excited about your job is great! There is no rule that says being a leader in industry and being a woman are mutually exclusive. Get past the labels and do what you love.

5) Trust the people who have earned it. Figure out who your true friends and make them your confidants instead of blindly trusting the whole world. This will eliminate a lot of drama and back-stabbing in your life.

6) Age and mellow Friday nights are directly proportional to each other. At 22, Friday rolled around and I would be down to stand in line for an hour in heels at Bootie/DNA. Now when Friday comes, I just want to be on my couch or at a nice dinner with some good friends - both cases wearing comfy shoes.

7) Don't wear UGGs or Crocs. No matter how bad your day is, ugly shoes are not the answer. A pair of TOMS or cute booties from Seychelles will serve you better than stomping around Sutter in sequinned UGGs from college.

8) If you need to get drunk, take your best friend with you. You will need the emotional, physical and mental support when your motor skills and emotional intelligence rival that of a toddler.

9) It's OK to date the wrong people but don't make relationships out of them. If things aren't working out with someone and you already tried your best, let them go for the good of both of you.

10) Don't be afraid to be single. Learn from Taylor Swift; sometimes you need some time alone to figure out what you really want in life.

11) A weekend road-trip with your friends is the best way to unwind. If you are lucky to live in a place like California, grab your best friends and go for a trip to Napa or Big Sur or even L.A. Long car rides where you belt out '90s songs make for some great memories.

12) Travel. Before work and personal schedules need to be worked around families, pack a bag and visit a foreign country with your friends. One of my most cherished memories is wandering around London at 10:30 PM searching for a closed Chanel flagship store.

13) It's OK to dork out over things - be it TV shows, movies, electronics, volunteering, pets, fashion. It shows your personality and passion. The feigned apathy of teenagers is not that cool as an adult. The people I had the hardest time connecting with are the ones who seemed disinterested in everything.

14) Develop a passion or a hobby. Learning past college hits a stalemate unless you actively pursue it. Learn to play tennis or how to code or how to take amazing photographs of food.

15) Learn to cook. Ramen a la Microwave won't be as appetizing as it was in college. Also, Philz and a breakfast burrito everyday gets expensive and unhealthy really fast.

16) Spend time with the people who matter in your life. A dinner with your parents will make you happier than making small talk with strangers at a random party. Figure out who in your life is valuable to you and vice versa and spend some quality time with them. Parents become cool again after the age of 22.

17) Beware of the online world. People's Facebook, Instagram,  and online dating profiles are just a well curated story of what they want to want the world to see. Don't get so caught up in trying to one-up someone else's online life that you miss the important things in your real one.

18) You are never too old for Disney or Harry Potter. You need to hold on to some of the things that fascinated you as a child because those things will make you just as happy as an adult. It's just a good reminder there's still a little bit of magic left in the world.

19) Express yourself. Be it in style, words, or actions - be brave enough to express yourself.

20) This one is from my favorite episode of Doctor Who  - "The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice-versa, the bad things don't necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant."