Saturday Morning Ramblings: Failing

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Current Tea: Twining's Early Grey; Current Music: Landslide by Fleetwood Mac

Did you ever wonder when the moment was that the adults gave up? When was the moment when the college student who studied art history became the accountant? The girl who wanted to become VP decided she was fine with being just a manager? The moment where we looked at the risk and said, it's not worth the it and settled. We all do it in various areas of our life - friends, family, love, career. We look at our dream world and the reality of our life and decide it's better to stick to reality than go after the dreams. It's what keeps us grounded. Who wants to be the fifty year old with nothing but failed dreams? So, we take what we have and try to make the best of it. We think this is just for now; this isn't my future. See, I don't think it's in a moment that we give it all up at all.  It's actually everyday. It's waking up every morning and making the choice that will make us feel safe instead of going after the one that will push us off the cliff. 

To someone as risk averse as me, I am constantly looking for parachutes before I jump off anything. The thing is, with that kind of nature, we never jump. We just spend our lives collecting the parachutes for the inevitable fall, but we forget that it's never going to come because we won't jump. It becomes an addiction actually. Instead of getting rid of the extra parachutes and just jumping, we keep collecting. It also doesn't help when our friends are doing the same. Who wants to keep dreaming of Mr. Right when your friends are getting engaged left and right? So, you go for the guy who is nice and stable and say, this will be fine. Who wants to keep working long hours and put off having a family when everyone around you is pregnant? You say, I need to focus on my personal life and put the career on the back burner for a while. Why see the world now when you can see it when you retire and can afford to do it in a way you enjoy? That's how the adults gave up. That's how the happy middle is born. Everyday, we look at where we are and try to go just an inch further so we are caught up with the Joneses. We don't jump off the cliff. We just keep collecting parachutes and comparing the number we have with those around of us all the while never grasping that none of us will ever use it.